


To Be Alive

by timeless_alice



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 06:04:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeless_alice/pseuds/timeless_alice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rumors floated around the crews of the Shatterdomes, that Jaegers were alive in their own sort of way. In the aftermath of the breach closing, Raleigh adjusts to life and thinks about what his Jaeger did for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Be Alive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alphaenterprise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alphaenterprise/gifts).



There were rumors passed along through Shatterdome crews, during quiet moments or over lunch breaks. About the Jaegers having minds of their own, working independently of their pilots in subtle ways. Can't have two minds connected without something coming out of it, the more superstitious people of the groups would say.  
Raleigh, before Knifehead and before the Wall, when he was a cocky kid with an ego too big for his britches, had always brushed the idea aside as bullshit. A Jaeger was only as good as her pilots, after all.  
But after it all, he wasn't so sure. He thought about it often, when it was quiet and there was nothing for him to do but get lost in his own head, about Yancy, about piloting solo, about crashing into the Anchorage shore. He knew that he should have passed out long before, from the pain and the exhaustion and mental wear as he pushed on for miles upon miles for what must have been several hours.  
And he allowed himself to think that maybe, just maybe, Gipsy Danger wasn't simply a mechanical juggernaut. She did not live, she did not breathe, but perhaps she could think and in turn cared about her pilots. It was comforting, in its way, to believe she carried him onward when his mind fizzled and faltered, to save her remaining pilot. It was the least she could do, after having one of her boys ripped from her hull.  
Losing her to the anteverse hurt almost as much as losing Yancy did. It was a small condolence that she had been destroyed in the name of closing the breach and saving the world from the kaiju. She had been a part of him for so long, a reminder of what he was capable of even after he had left the program, and now she was gone for good. At least they had separated on Raleigh's own terms.  
Since the closing of the breach he and Mako had been shipped to the American west coast, to live in a spacious apartment provided for them by the government. For the first few weeks they spent their days being interviewed by politicians and various news channels or talk shows. They were the media's darling pair, the two who had saved the world. Raleigh hated the attention, and he suspected that Mako did too.  
Old Raleigh would have loved the attention, soaking it up and boasting about the Jaeger programs. New Raleigh just wished to be left alone, to mourn and have everything return to normal. Well, as normal as it could be in light of everything that had happened. He let Mako do the talking during interviews, keeping his chatter to a minimum. It was his duty, and he had done it. Mako was better at talking than he was, anyway.  
In what free time they were allowed, Mako would write. Memorials, mostly, for those who had been lost to the kaiju. Jaeger pilots she knew, as well as the hundreds of thousands of faceless and nameless civilians. It was her way of mourning, since she didn't like talking about the tragedy of it all. Raleigh would knit, a habit he had picked up in physical therapy all those years ago which he had never really dropped. Other times, they would play games together. Chess or a card game, something to keep their minds occupied.  
A little over a month since the breach closed, the requests for interviews and photos began to lessen, with the media beginning to focus more on the cleanup effort. Raleigh helped when he could, keeping his head low in the hopes no one recognized him and only going out sporadically.   
It was a lazy Tuesday, nearly two months since the breach collapsed thanks to the valiant efforts of the crews of Gypsy Danger and Striker Eureka, and Raleigh lounged on the small beige loveseat as he knit, the news playing in the background. Mako was out at a solo interview.  
Marshall Herc Hansen was speaking to a news reporter about the cleanup efforts closest to the breach. Raleigh found it somewhat cruel of the universe for Herc to be in such a position: a man who had lost so much, a wife, his child, a close friend, being one of the people in charge of putting the world back together again. Raleigh snorted at the thought. Not even allowed to mourn his own child before being forced to help the world heal.  
Raleigh counted stitches in his head, cursing softly whenever he screwed up (which was often- he'd never been that good), half listening to Herc speak about logistics and the bright outlook of the whole situation. A brighter future, a united planet. The same old same old. It seemed that he was letting the woman do the talking for the most part, following wherever she dictated the conversation go.  
Raleigh wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to hear the inevitable question about the destruction of Striker Eureka. His heart sank and he paused in his knitting the moment she asked the question, in the same innocent sort of curiosity that all reporters had:  
"Are you hoping to find any remains of your old Jaeger, Striker Eureka?"  
Raleigh looked to the television, to gauge Herc's expression. He still had the same drawn, tired look he always had the past few days, but to Raleigh's amazement there was a ghost of a smile on his lips.  
"Actually, the other night an escape pod had been located. One of Striker's. We don't know how, but it must have deployed before the bomb went off."  
"Does this mean there's a chance your son, Chuck, is alive?" It was well known now that Stacker had been dying, regardless of whether or not he was in Striker Eureka the moment of its explosion.  
"Yes. We don't know where he is, or where a body is, but we'll keep looking and hope for the best."  
Raleigh smiled. He couldn't help it. Chuck, arrogant and pugnacious Chuck, might still be alive and kicking after all. Mako would be delighted to hear it- just one less person to mourn over.  
The sound of the news fading into the background again, the interview with Herc coming to a close, Raleigh thought about the rumors in the Shatterdome crews. The Jaeger's having their own level of sentience to them. Maybe, just maybe, Striker Eureka made one last effort to protect the pilot she loved so much.


End file.
